Our children didn't follow a traditional straight line, and they still don't. In their current lives as fathers, they eschew much of cultural dogma, and stand their ground with definite ideas and principles. We didn't trace a straight line for them, so we couldn't expect them to follow one. Yes, it is hard to leave them be when they face the adult world threshold after high school. One has to let go, take a leap of faith, trust that you have done your best, and hope they figure it out successfully their own.
I could have been highly offended, and justifiably so. Instead, I made a conscious decision not to be. His words, although definitely not seasoned with salt, summed up for me in a nutshell the shared plight of many women over 40. This particularly applies to those of us who, either by choice or by circumstance, remain single. Fostered by a youth-enamored society, the assumption is that rather than being in any way enhanced by age, women are tarnished by it.
When I was growing up in the 1960's, my mom and I set our hair on plastic rollers. Mom's hair was short and curly and mine was long, wavy and often in girly pigtails, but neither of us wanted frizz.
If your daughter had a life-threatening physical illness, your support system would gather around you and help. Fortunately, there's a wonderful organization called NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness) that provides support for friends and family of the mentally ill.
In my ten years of living on a sailboat, a typical bad day was a dragging anchor, a ripped sail, and our toddler throwing a vital tool overboard. At sea as on land, it always happened in three's. That chapter in my life impressed certain truths upon me, and although many of them were elicited from a sea or boat-related experience, the underlying moral of the story applies equally well to my life on land today. I now find these truths to be self-evident.
In today's America a new mother not only has to navigate lists of potential baby names, top-rated carseats and strollers, choose between bottle or breast, and make a place in her home for a new little person, but she needs to dig heavily into her finances to accomplish that. If her employer doesn't offer paid maternity leave, she must decide how long she can stay home with the baby, then how much childcare will cost when she returns.
The upheaval in your life circumstances may unleash a wellspring of emotions, making it difficult to think clearly. You are faced with many hard decisions at a time when your judgment is likely to be clouded. Getting help to sort out the emotions is absolutely necessary.
In a perfect world, the holidays offer the best of times filled with warmth and companionship. We luxuriate in the love of those who mean everything to us. When a loss occurs, not only are celebratory patterns threatened, but suddenly it becomes painful to negotiate a regular day.